After a 2 year Covid-induced hiatus, the Bath Indoor Cricket league returned for a slightly abbreviated 2022 season. Sloths in Division A is a worrying prospect only made worse by the fact that almost all the skilful players who helped secure the promotion had either moved to colonial outposts (Singapore, Norfolk) or just couldn’t be arsed to turn up. When the 12 yr old has played more indoor matches than 3 of the other Sloths in the team, its fair to say that the cards were somewhat stacked against. Luc and Veal joined Fresh as the experienced backbone of the team while debutants Will and George stepped gamely up to the plate. Finally with Bear Flat Dad and now honorary Sloth Chris Salmon rising to the occasion, a team had been cobbled together.

Storm won the toss and put the green Sloth unit in to bat. Fresh and indoor deb Will Maslin opened, and watched on bemused while Storm haemorrhaged extras with their short-pitched stuff. Although they fielded well, they also left some big gaps which were exploited to the full. Fresh and the Salmon opted for the gap to the back wall, whilst Will opted for the gap between the actual gaps, hitting one fielder’s middle stump and flooring the poor chap. The Salmon smoked various short balls to the back wall, and ran impressively between the wickets. By the time he fell (hook line and sinker), Horrex had just one ball to face and managed resourcefully to get 6 runs out of it. Will carried his bat having show technique and positive intent throughout. George and Veal contented themselves on the balcony with taking video nasties of the oppo’s misfortune. A pretty impressive 113 for 2 wickets had been scored. Top scorer extras, actual top scorer Chris Salmon, leaping to the top of the stats leaderboard. 113 was certainly above parr.

Storm, clearly a team of youth and proper cricketing ability, then came out to bat. The Salmon opened the bowling with some mysterious legspin stuff while George opted straight and fast lasers – both highly effective, with very few extras. Will had a decent shout for an early run-out, but was turned down. The batters looked to smash the back wall, but met serious resistance with Will and George solid at mid on and mid off. Veal and George formed a good partnership where Veal bowled lefty straight stuff and George fielded almost every ball at mid-on. With this pressure, wickets started to fall all of a sudden, with calm run-outs, yorkers, catches and one hit roof. Before you could say ‘top of the league’, it was all over. The rookie Sloth outfit had completed a memorable smash-and-grab to take an early top spot in Division A.

The experienced indoorists know that you need to run between the wickets to win a match. That’s assuming the other team can bowl on the track though. Storm will kick themselves for wayward bowling and then succumbing to the scoreboard pressure. Swimming against the Blue tide of youth and ability( and benefitting from being the first match to be played) the Sloths had moved to the top of the league whilst employing the minimum of movement.

After the match, various semi-hibernating sloths took the opportunity to share effusive messages of congratulation, support, and mutual friendship on social media, helping the newer Sloths to gain a deeper underlying of the true spirit of Slothdom. Now we just need some nicknames for Will and George…