Two things stood out at yesterday’s traditional end-of-season encounter between Sloths and Hampset yesterday afternoon. These were, in no particularly order, Samuel’s fantastic 47 retired and the cake. Other highlights included newbie Will’s two-wicket opening over, Lodge’s over-the-top celebration at finding the middle of his bat first ball and yet-another-newcomer Imran’s tremendous bowling.
Otherwise, it was the usual mixed bag. Harry found some turn in the crumbling wicket. Samuel generated pace to belie his slight stature, generating edges that were – astonishingly – not secured in the field. Fresh, too, looked menacing from the cake end.
But the real difference between the two sides was a certain Mr Bond. No, not that one. Hampset’s erstwhile league player merrily set about upsetting Sloth bowling averages and threatening neighbouring greenhouses. Hitting straight through the line and clearing the boundary with alarming ease, Bond set Hampset on target for a hefty total.
Even deployment of Sloth’s secret weapon Stu ‘one-leg’ Nelson (he clearly misread the history books) couldn’t halt the flow of runs. He did manage one tidy take at first slip. But only on the bounce. Sadly, he wasn’t around later when Lodge needed a runner. Jon’s request was met by a swift response from captain Fresh “Runner? You never run – you can have a walker”.
After a slightly faltering start, the Sloth run machine did begin to fire, in response to Hampset’s 200+ from 32 overs. Lodge, ably accompanied by a slightly confused Samuel, scored some valuable runs. Hewes, meanwhile, was showing no interest in turning ones into twos. He did, however, hit several boundaries, including a glorious straight drive over the bowler’s head for six. He later declared this to have been premeditated – but I think he may have meant ‘pre-medicated’.
After Lodge’s demise, Frith had the luxury of now running for himself. Frustrated at the lack of partners who could do the same, he took to peppering the boundary. In fact, he not only peppered it but garnished it with a fragrant chilli sauce. Even Mr Bond – no, not that one – was moved to applaud this young man’s skill and determination.
But all good things must come to an end. Whilst the Sloth late order valiantly attempted to get after the bowling, the target was just too high. Hampset won a well-earned victory and all agreed it had been a fine encounter.
And then cake happened. Which was good. Very good. So, all’s well that ends well.
As ever, questions were asked (over cake – did I mention that?) in the Hampset bar:
- At what age is it acceptable to be unaware of Botham’s Ashes?
- Would anything prevent Stumpchat taking to the field?
- How many cricketers does it take to change a pool table?
- Strawberry or chocolate? Or both?
- If the skipper leaves without settling his bar bill, what should the penalty be?
Answers, please, on a doily, placed under a cake of your choosing at the next AGM
Mary Berry, Baking Correspondent, Slothful Times