Slightly disappointed to find that our normal correspondent was engaged with or receiving a Brazilian at Pilton instead of chronicling the Sloths attempts to get the better of the Lord’s chosen 11 last Sunday

Well – here is a brief resume of what turned out to be a clear message to the unbelievers. Yes we lost.

However before giving that away, here are a few highlights. First we were dismissed to the far pitch and garden shed pavilion. Bonder was seen planting boundary flags with his customary scowl at all arriving late and with lack of tea (see later)

After some discussion, we batted first. I think Fresh was captain. Not sure whether this was ordained or whether we actually won something. Matters not, let’s say that any dodgy decisions were with him. To be honest what followed was not brilliant save for Painter J who starred with the bat including running out Bonder. Mike called a run that was not his to call and found himself able to exchange a few words with Jim as they were found to both be at the same crease. Much muttering followed along with further wickets. It looked like the cunning plan was working with wickets tumbling to Paul Mac who had elected to play on the side of the righteous. Jim, having been retired at 50, continued to flex his muscles in readiness to come in at the end and smash the ball to every boundary. All was well in the world

Well it was a plan, Yerbury came in last man with that plan in hand, immediately ran out his partner to bring in Painter to the rescue who hit 2 swift boundaries before Yerbury gave a comfortable catch to square leg. Twat! 121 runs only on the board

And so to tea and the feeding of the 5,000. Well suffice to say Sloths underperformed again, this time with limited offerings and quite a few turning up with nothing to share. (Bonder – fuming again). Quite right the youngest from both teams filled their plates leaving the crumbs for their elders. I will say that Sloth man of the match, Painter J did contribute some dainty if clumsily constructed cheese and pickle rolls which saved the day.

Back to the pitch. Redemption could be had if the promising batting line up could be fooled into submission. Gamesmanship seemed in the air with Paul and Bonder exchanging some words. Something from the new testament? Fresh opened with some pretty loose deliveries before gaining line and length in his last over taking a key wicket. Despite a tight session from Yerbury including a wicket maiden and encouraging effort from Wilf Warren, which gave some limited hope, the inevitable end was secured by Paul Mac smacking the ball to the boundary. (Editor – Do we sanction him for this performance with bat and ball?)

Moral of this tale dear sloths – the sun shines on the righteous. particularly if there is insufficient tea

Timothy Saga St John (retd)