Vs Stella Select @ Hampset CC, 27th June

Sloths arrived at gusty Hampset in full festival mood. Brand new Sloth Eddie and dab-hand Gorgeous George brought the boyish enthusiasm and a brace of fresh-faced Friths brought some cricketing prowess. Captain Fresh thought, “Hmm how could I best harness this prowess? Ah yes. Sibling rivalry. Let’s pit these two nice brothers against each other, hopefully generate some ill feeling and thus they will channel their anger and resentment towards short-term cricketing greatness”. Or something along those lines, probably. By the end of the night it would be determined who was the better Frith. Secret bets were taken.

Fresh then went and lost the toss but Stellas fancied a bat, a bemused but happy Fresh lead Sloths onto the field as the wind picked up. Porridge foolishly mentioned, out loud, that he’d “done alright bowling in the nets the other night” and so was immediately promoted to open the bowling. TooGoodNash chuckled at this decision and so was told to open from the other end. Hearing Glastonbury on the wind, Porridge chose to have the tunes at his back and, with his fourth ball, rattled the middle stump of a teenager. Nash kept it tidy into the wind, throwing in a dramatic pause midway through his run-up and some of us thought he’d forgotten where he was. Eldest Frith Sam / Bob Willis whisked in and regularly beat the bat with wild swing. Eddie opened his bowling career with tidy dibblers and Twinkle-Toes Bonder was nimble behind the stumps, swiftly gathering anything down leg (which was, admittedly, downhill for him). Stellas struggled to get it off the square and then two run outs in quick succession put Sloths on top. George gathered in a throw from Nash (probably), whipped off the bails, looked longingly towards the backpedalling umpire and exclaimed “Out…? …Wasn’t it?”. How could anyone turn down such puppy dog eyes? More accurate and swinging bowling, coupled with a moment of teenage exuberance, blew away the Stella tail as stumps were toppled time and again. Harry took the Frith Bowling prize with two scalps, George bulldozed his way through a defensive stroke, Fresh nipped a couple off the seam to beat forward prods but Lawrie fancied a different approach. Somehow finding bounce back of the length, he had the batter in all sorts of trouble fending it off his body and gloving it to gully. An all round excellent Sloth fielding performance couldn’t be complete though without a dash of village-esque cricket that this reporter would be amiss to forget. Eddie on his debut, eyes fixed on the ball, clattering into a poised and stationary Harry, ready at midwicket to catch a skier. We adults can’t be letting these talented teens get too comfortable now.

With 90 to chase, Fresh enacted the Final Frith Duel and sent them out to open with explicit instructions to not be the worst Frith. Harry got off to a flyer, nearly taking out the scorers with a glorious six before peppering the short boundaries with fours. Sam had a more methodical opening spell, steering ones into gaps and keeping the scoreboard ticking along. Harry’s eyes widened at a grenade of a delivery, again he charged down to send it over the pavilion, but alas, a top edge had him caught acrobatically and he began his anxious wait to see if his 23 would crown him First Frith. Seeing a sibling sent packing, Sam upped the ante, sending two poor balls to the boundary in succession to put him within a score of the young Frith. But ah, how cricket cruel be, in an attempt to dispatch another delivery to the boundary, Sam swung all around a straight one and heard the death rattle. But had he already done enough? The book said 22 and left Sam ruing his big swing. Matt “Can’t-Bat” Cox came in at 3 and now needs a new nickname as the bowlers will all testify that the man can bat – including one soaring six over the longest boundary. Frankie Knuckles shadow batted his way to the crease with cover drives on his mind and, like an Ian Bell apparition, he duly stroked two boundaries down the hill with aesthetic aplomb. Not to be outdone, Bonder came in at 5 and won the game with a scoop! Sensing the field creeping in, Bonder went aerial over the leg slip and ran a magnificent one with bat raised.