As the warm June sun beat down on the lush grass of KES, a group of tired men from the village of Bathampton prepared to do battle once again. Could the decade-long Sloth winning streak be maintained, or would the dads, many of whom are now so old their kids don’t even go to school anymore, finally triumph?

Two makeshift squads of Sloths, dads, and famous TV presenters had been hastily assembled in the preceding days, and it was the horizontal half of the village who opted to bat first, despite having just 8 recognised players as the game started. To everyone’s surprise, Phil from Kirsty and Phil fame, clearly on location in Bathampton, played his first cricket match in 40 years, his property business having curtailed what could have been a promising career as an all-rounder.

The KES kestrel Dan O looked in fine form again with an unbeaten 29, supported in places by Ricky and Lawrie. SDS, Ant, and Brent upheld the traditional Sloth batting ethos, whilst Porridge knicked and nurdled his way to an unbeaten 27, with support from Jimmy, who looked in a hurry to take his helmet off due to another dizzy spell, probably caused by being in such close proximity to Phil from Phil and Kirsty.

At the close of the innings, the Sloths had managed an impressive 125 off 18 overs, which was nearly the same amount the Sunday sloth team had scored in 35 overs!

The Sloths made a strong start to the bowling, with The Doc removed cheaply and Ant taking the other opener. It was at this point that the dads showed their class, with runs coming quickly from all areas of the ground despite solid bowling and high-class fielding particularly from Laz at cover. Jimmy misheard the instruction not to throw the ball hard at the stumps and preceded to throw it as hard as he possibly could for 4 costly overthrows.

With the game in balance, it was time for Phil to shine, with the veteran picking his location, location, location with each shot. With former Sloth stalwart Dan Darwin moonlighting for the dads at number 7, it was clear the game was up, and a well-deserved victory for the dads was achieved in the final over with a stunning four back past the bowler.

Over beers the sloths pondered the big questions. Does it matter if you don’t play cricket for 40 years? What’s the line between a Bathampton Dad and a Bathampton Sloth? Was that Kirsty in the car park with the shades on? Who knows…